7 things I have learned from my new boss

He's not in today, so I thought it would be great to share this to you guys.

My job as translator in a foreign worker office didn't go very well when the new boss stepped in. There were a "few" changes that he made to improve the "efficiency" in the office.

7. You can't replace a dust cloth with a handkerchief.

My genius boss came in one day and told us to use these dusters to wipe off the dust on everything. The main problem was, me and all the big-sis, realized that it wasn't a duster he was holding on. It was a handkerchief. His old and second-hand handkerchief, perhaps.

This is a dust cloth:

Not this:

6. Write a work diary
When was the last time I write a diary? Oh, elementary school. Yes, so my boss still thinks that we're still in elementary school and we have to write a diary. 9 a.m to 9.30 a.m. what am I doing? Oh, I'm writing yesterday's work diary. HA!

5. It is okay to be late
Beside the boss, me and the big-sis all come to office before 8.30 a.m. The boss? It's 9.46 a.m. now and he still isn't here. LOL. Talk about setting a good example.

4. Changing the work station won't give you efficiency.

He assigned a new desk for me, and told me to move it today. He didn't realize how many works I had to do that day, so I set aside all those works and did as he told. Thus, when he ask how's my work? "Ah, I thought you told me to move today so I moved? That's my work."
Ah, I realized something. Maybe that's his way to spy on my work, but I moved the unused PC and placed it right behind me so he can't spy my monitor. Thanks, I'm a genius.

3. We are janitors + salary man

Wanna bet? He can't do house works like sweeping, swabbing, cleaning the toilet, even throwing the trash. He always tell us to clean the office, what an OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder) or clean freak. We feel comfortable as we are, and if you want a cleaner office, just clean it yourself, Sir? We're busy with all those work you set for us.

2. WE ARE SUPERMAN!

He treat us like we are freaking damn superman that can do all the work by ourselves, while he's sitting comfortably in his office. Plus, he once asked me how to count the workers' salary. I'm just a freaking translator not a calculator.

1. I'm the BOSS

I felt like hearing these somewhere else, from King Xerxes the God-king of Persia from 300, maybe? 

Yes, yes, yes. Bla-bla-bla. He thinks that everything has to be in order, just because he's the big man in the company. The truth to be told, he can do NOTHING.

Mein Slangs part 3

Erm, I think it's OK right to divide the slangs into three parts? Or maybe more? I tried to remember all of them by surfing my friends' Facebook for inspiration, but the ideas kept coming, so...

8. LAO NIANG 老娘

Inspired by the mainland China's famous TV series, Empresses in the Palace (甄嬛傳) or I don't even know where we got this brilliant idea from, me and some of my Medanese friend started to call ourselves lao niang just for fun, and after that we find ourselves laughing on the floor. Lao niang literally means old lady, and we use it for jokes to call our own selves, to give us a higher state or power or rank. Just like Taiwanese men call themselves "Lin Bei" or 拎杯 (it's a Hokkian for 你爸 or your father), but it's kinda rude.

Example:
(tomorrow's the H-day for Calculus exam)
A: 微積分! 為了你, 老娘跟你拼了!!!!
*Translation: Calculus! THIS! IS! SPARTA!

9. BING DOU 冰抖

Now this is an exciting one. Bing dou is a Taiyu form of 翻桌 or flipping the table. First saw it in a local Taiwanese movie. Just like this meme, we also have the same meaning, means "I'M SO ANGRY I WANT TO FLIP THE TABLE!" something like that.

10. QIU MI 啾咪

Ugh every freaking time I see this words in real life or in Facebook, I really want to punch her in the face. Kidding. No, I'm not. Here's the thing: some of the Taiwanese girls like to have this cute baby doll image, and they LOVE to act cute, to get boys' attention. I didn't say they are fake, though, I'm just saying that I don't really like this kind of cute. These girls' say 'qiu mi' to say hello or.. hm.. how should I put this... just like this emo, v( ^.＜ ) Get it, mate? 

11. GG Gee-gee 

For English native speakers, they use this as a shorter version of giggles, or maybe good game, depends on when they use it. We also use GG in Indonesia and Taiwan, different meaning, though. In Indonesia, GG or ge-ge, it usually means awesome, for example:

(situated in online game)
A: Gile, senjatanya C udah diplus ampe +16
B: Buset, GG amet~
*Translation:
A: Wow, C's weapon is enchanted to +16!
B: Nice, so GG~

But in Taiwan, we describe it as "I'm a dead-meat" or "I'm in huge trouble" that kind of thing. Maybe more like "你殘了你" in Mandarin or "MAMPUS LAH LU" in Indonesian. I hope you get this, more or less it's the same thing as "you're f*cked"

A: 啊! 糟糕! 我忘了交報告!
B: GG啦你.....
*Translation:
A: Argh! Damn! I forgot to do the project!
B: You're super dead, man....

12. Orz

Erm, I need more sources for this one. I saw my Taiwanese friends use it in Facebook so I guess it's an internet slang. If you look carefully, you'll see that "Orz" is like a man pounding his head on the floor to symbolize the emotion of frustration.
See it?
The "O" is the head
"r" is the hand and the body
"z" is like the legs kneeling.

13. KIA SI LANG 嚇死人

From all the slangs I have typed, this one is used most frequently. Kia si lang, Taiyu and Hokkian is the same, same meaning, same pronunciation, literally means frightened or scared to dead. The example is so easy, check this out.

A: (wearing a super heavy make up)
B: Walao eh?! Who you wanna scare, ah?! KIA SI LANG!

14. 北七 BEI QI or 白癡 BAI CHI

"白癡 bai chi" means idiot in Mandarin, and as you can guess it mainly used for calling others idiot or stupid. I don't think we need to explain this one thoroughly.

A: ARGH! I dropped my phone into the toilet!
B: Meh, bei qi ah you.

15. 無聊 BO LIAO

In Hokkian and Taiyu, it pronounced bo liao, meaning bored to death and there's nothing to do about it, usually with a negative purpose. Maybe more or less the same to "meh" in English.

A: Ah today so bo liao~ What are we gonna do....

Photos update from UK

Yes I know it's extremely late, but it's a relief to know that I still have these photos. Just a few pics taken mainly in Manchester, considering I only had my right arm active back then.

Street artist in Arndale

My kind of treasure hunt

LOL. Eddie, the owner of the second hand book store gave us the look of amazement as we went insane by flipping through all the books, and we bought three bags full of books. With a new bag he handed us the books and we went back to our hotel with new treasures :D

Mein Slangs part 2

I tried to remember the slangs I have been using all these years, yet my brain doesn't seem to be working properly. I guess I really have Dory's brain from Finding Nemo. "Just keep swimming, just keep swimming, just keep swimming-swimming-swimming~"

4. ... MEH ? 咩 ?
This one... is epic. Meh is my favorite one and I'm still using it so often that the people from my part-time job office still laugh at it. This slang is different from the real English one. In English, meh is used to express that you simply don't care about that subject. For me, or for Malaysian, they say it to question or to make sure about something.
Here's one sample:

(grilling satay)
A: Eh, I think that satay is ready.
B: You sure, meh? Still empuk-empuk (soft) for me?

5. PAISEH 歹勢 
Paiseh is a word commonly said in Singapore, Malaysia, or in Taiwan, derived from the Hokkian word of 'sorry' or 'excuse me'. Actually in Taiwan, if you want to talk to elderly, you should use more 台語 (Taiyu), which is similar to Hokkian, but with different accent. I can understand Taiyu, Hokkian is a little hard to understand though, as my Medanese friends usually speak very fast. I don't think you need and example to this one. Paiseh has the same meaning to enschuldigung, excuse me or sorry, permisi mas or maaf mas, sumimasen or gomenasai, etc.

6. (Warning, rude words) GAN SHA XIAO?! 幹啥小?!
My mom scolded me many times after I used these words back in Indonesia, and later I didn't use it anymore. These words are very rude, for common Taiwanese, and it is recommended not to say it. Gan sha xiao (I think) means 'what the f*ck' in Taiwanese, and mainly said by boys. Girls don't say this much, as these words can wreck their baby doll image lol. Em, should I type some example? You think? Em, okay.

A: (hit B's back very hard) Hey, bro! What's up?
B: GAN SHA XIAO LAH?! It hurts!
and after that they didn't talk for few days.

P.S. 幹 or gan is Mandarin word for 'f*ck', so don't use it. BTW mom, I don't use this word anymore, so don't be mad at me.

7. DIAO 屌
Erm, actually, the real meaning of this word is literally rude, means men's sexual part, but here Taiwanese use it for something that is extremely cool and awesome. Sometimes you can add a 好 (hao) to express more. It's easy if you want to use it, like this:

A: Wasai! Your new car hao diao!
B: Of course lah~

Mein Slangs part 1

I have been living in Taiwan for almost 4 years, and from my Taiwanese, Malaysian, or maybe my Indonesian friends who mainly from Medan, I learned quite a few Mandarin slangs, plus when to use them appropriately. I decided to write some of this slangs, as every time I return to Jakarta and going out with my friends, they all look bewildered with my use of word as we gossip. They said my Bahasa Indonesia has some Malaysian and Hokkian blended in it. Some of them are really quite funny. Check this out:

1. WASAI! 哇塞! or WAKHAO! 哇靠!

This one has been my favorite expression since my second year in here. I believe the word derived from Malaysian slang "WALAO EH", because of their similarities. Wasai (I use this word more often, as Wakhao is considered a rude word for Taiwanese) is used to express exclamation of surprise or amazement, can be used for positive or maybe negative shock. 

Examples? 

Here:

A: Eh, I heard that our hourly salary will increase to NT$300 an hour!

B: WASAI ?! Are you freaking sure, man?!

(background music: Pharrell - Happy)

or, 

A: Wei, did you know Y and Z broken up lately.

B: WAKHAO ?! Really?! Why?! They look so good together, tho?

2.  ...BA~ ...吧~

Looking at the raised eyebrows, let's give you an example first shall we?

(working with a new boss, boss looks friendly, on the outside)

A: Boss said you should work overtime today.

B: What the? I cannot lah! I don't think he's that kind of boss, ba~

(I will explain that lah after this)

See? Ba is used for a sentence's ending to emphasize the questionable factor in that sentence. "I don't think he's that kind of boss, right?"

Still confused? Hm, how about this?

A: (looking at the sky) Ei, the sky so dark, ah?

(ah? Later ah, later)

B: It's gonna rain, ba~

Understand? Understand? OK, let's move on~

3. ...Lah~ ...啦~ ...Luo/Lor~ ...囉/咯~

Aha, this one's is the most common one for those who come from Singapore or Malaysia. We don't use this kind of word, we usually use similar one for "lho", but how we use it is different. I started to use this word after I had some influence from my Malaysian friends, and later become one habit of mine.

I think we don't need examples, right? What? You need one? Alright lor~ See, I used it?

Deutsch?

Approaching high-school's graduation: Hey, where are you going next? What university? Where? When? What subject?

Approaching university's graduation: Hey, what are you going to do next? Work? Postgraduate program?

I hate all these questions. I hate the end of something. Sometimes people say the end of something means the start of something new. C'est la vie. For me, it's the deadline of starting a new path in your life. Every time the end is near, I can't help feeling defenseless and vulnerable. It took a handful of courage to smear it on your face to finally walk the path and confront all the crisis ahead of us.

My comrades, from the same school, same nationality, one still feeling confused on choosing whether to pursue a Master degree or work, and two others prefer to work in Taiwan. Me? Still blank.

There's no way in hell I'll be continuing to exhaust my brain for a master. Bachelor of Administration is already enough for me. Yes, I still want to study, but not for a master program. Study for another foreign language, that's it. Japanese, Spanish, German, and maybe the variation of English accent all fascinate me. Sometimes I found myself reading out loud a couple of paragraphs with different accents of English: Indian, Malaysian, Singlish, or British.

Deutsch? 大好き ♥

As I'm scrolling through the pages of many university in Germany that offer language courses, I wonder, why I have this huge interest in learning German? I rewind my memory to previous trip back then, and at that time German sounded like music in my ear, and I feel challenged to master that language. After that, I was bewitched with a Japanese anime named Shingeki no Kyojin (進撃の巨人). Basically the anime take place in an imaginative world but still based on Germanic culture and language. Like commander Erwin, they pronounce it "Ervin", or the main character Eren Jäger, more or less same as how they pronounce it in German. I took my first German class in university with the most killer professor in the DFLL faculty, and earned my first ticket to learn German.

Fascinating, isn't it? How one thing lead to another, and now I'm planning to continue learning German in the land of Germany itself. Ah, well, personally, the best way to learn a new language is to blend yourself into the environment, like a chameleon.

I stumbled upon this blog, which says German is the first language you should consider to learn. BTW, surprisingly, my mother tongue (technically father tongue as my mom originally from Taiwan), is sitting comfortably in number four. Reasons? Here:

Yes, blame it on social media

Surprise, surprise. People thought that Mandarin will be the next international language as the growing China's vast economy. Who'd ever thought of Bahasa Indonesia will be in the top five.

Happiness

Once I heard a quote about the key to happiness is to find joy in every thing that we do. At that time I still don't understand: how? How the hell you can find pleasure or silver lining in every thing?

From the previous blog, I have shared about my current part-time job as a translator for Indonesian labor that work in Taiwan. Yes, I'm having a hard time to find a reason to continue this job, beside I need those green bucks to keep living here till I return to Indonesia, since I tried not to take any money from my parents and work independently.

My job is to translate Mandarin to Bahasa Indonesia or English for the maids, sometimes in real conversation or on the phone. Sometimes it is hard to communicate with them, as I know what they are facing and how hard it is to be far far away from home. Not all their employer are good people, and it is not a big news for us if the maids chose to run away because their employers did not treat them well. We have to comfort them and talk sense as well, and to tell you the truth, it isn't as easy as you think it would be.

And... lately I have been enjoying to talk with them. I usually joke around to ease them up a little, plus I feel that surge of joy when they laugh at my jokes and whenever they smile, I feel a weird warmth embracing my heart. I guess that happiness is contagious, and I'm truly happy that I can help them through all their problems.

:)

Lemons

Sometimes, life gives you lemon. And this time, a sour one.

My last year in university, I thought I would be enjoying every second of this time with joy and happiness, never thought that I'd face this kind of torture. To fill in the empty schedule, I work part-time in a foreign labor company as a Mandarin to Indonesian or English translator with a friend. I loved this company: the workplace's atmosphere, the kindness of the manager and the employees (we usually call them big-sis, even the boss were kind to us and sometimes let us have a nice treat. The salary isn't much, we get hourly salary, but for return, we get many worthy life lessons, the way of communicate and persuade your clients, and even work-place ethics, I learned much. As a part-time student, I felt blessed to have the opportunity to work in this company. But then, everything changed.

The disaster started when the big boss decided to sell this beautiful haven to other manpower company. From the outside, nothing has changed. However, for us who's still working, we feel like we are all in the same hell. I remembered what the old manager said, "Maybe you can change the company name, the people, the manager, but what you cannot change, is how the people work."

Before the company name has changed, everything was in order. Everything was organized by the old manager, and nothing could went wrong. If it went wrong, the manager always had the way to solve it, mainly by simplify the matter. Ah, how I missed the old days. The new boss, an arrogant one, he comes every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. How luckily, I work here on Wednesday and Friday, plus a peaceful Tuesday. Whenever he comes, he always nag on how we work on things, how dirty the office, and kept trying to change everything that disgust him. Every freaking time we encounter problem, he solves it not like every normal person would do, by simplify it, yet he multiply the work. We are fine by the way we work before you came by the way.

From the previous company, I learned a lot. Still, I learned much more after things has changed. I mastered the way to control my emotion, how to manage time with all these busy things that we translator has to do, how to speak up and defend your right, and ultimately, how you differ a manager and a leader. The high school that I entered in back in Indonesia has a theme, which is leadership. Furthermore, the old manager definitely a leader, and the other one, as you can guess, a manager. The number one picture that best describes the difference is, surprisingly, can found in 9gag. (See? Procrastinating is useful)

I really wished I can print this pic and stick it to his computer.

Lesson Learned

Yes, bad news, my portable hard drive broke down after J (or did I?) accidentally dropped it. The light's still on, but it keep making weird noises like something jammed inside. I took it to various 3C already and they kept saying the same thing: if you want to save the file, it will cost you a fortune and there is no guarantee to get your files back. The problem is: all my captured image + raw files were all in there, and since I changed my notebook, I didn't preserve any of the files. Thus, disastrously, all those memories since high school, all the trips to Europe, all those files, "puff", evaporate away.

Then there's this Garuda Indonesia World Photo Contest. I searched my brain for likely photo to enter, and the girl in traditional Balinese clothing came into my mind. I stole this photo from my own Google Keep account.

And this. This time from my Facebook page. Mom loves this one, especially.

Too bad the raw files were lost. What a disaster.

Later I told my friend, who is a pro photographer about this unfortunate matter, and he said he always back up his raw photo files, not once, not twice, but thrice (I googled for this word, and frankly it shouldn't be a word, not sure tho) so he can make sure that all his files are safe.

Ah, well... true words from true master indeed.